Look at this dog: part 6 + Sam the Human
Look at this dog.
His name is Leo. Not Leonard or Leonardo. In fact, Leo is his longform name. His moniker is Li Li, even though it has the same number of syllables and arguably takes more effort to enunciate. His aliases also include Lumpy Loaf and Chaos.
Leo is needy and demanding, so we must always look at him. He will growl quietly to himself if he does not receive what he deems to be an appropriate amount of pets, which is all of them.
Paul and I agreed to legal and financial responsibility for him on Christmas Eve, 2021. So now I have to pet him forever or I’ll go to jail.
This was almost an extremely cute photo.
We may never know exactly why Leo’s peen was out in this moment, but I have censored it here because this is a strictly PG webpage, except when it definitely isn’t. Nonetheless, the presence of his peen is yet another manifestation of his demand that we look at him.
February 10, 2022. 28 weeks pregnant with Sam.
I am currently in the process of producing a new human. This one will also have a peen and will, I suspect, demand to be looked at and pet even more than his furry brother.
Please note that the photo above was taken in the third decan of Aquarius and we are now in the first decan of Taurus. Sam the Human could undertake his transition to the outside at any moment and I am very eager to congratulate him on starting his human journey and reclaim full use of my torso.
Two final thoughts for this post:
Though I don’t post here often, this webpage is absolutely serving its function. Thank you to everyone who has thought of me and reached out via the contact form. Those emails always arrive at exactly the right moment.
Can we move on from nautical-themed bathrooms? The primary element of the bathroom is water, I understand this. But I feel very limited by the utter domination of bathroom decor by seashells, sea turtles, starfish or -god forbid- anchors, flotation rings and preppy sailor stripes. Nautical themes are the Live, Laugh, Love of the bathroom and I will not stand for it. Also no more gaudy cocaine marble and no more powder blue French countryside. Glass mosaic tile can stay. That’s how I feel.
The ajar door in the photo above reveals a sliver of a shower curtain, which does, in fact, feature a giant, abstract sea turtle and several starfish on a sepia-toned map of nowhere. Also the rug in front of my fake fireplace is from Wayfair and we all know it.
Bonus entertainment recommendation: For more information on Cocaine Decor, including the infamous Lawyer Foyer, please visit McMansion Hell.
